Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Pre-mental tension

In the words of Emerson, Lake and Palmer...... Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends!

It's pre-season, my second favourite part of the footballing calender (after the actual season) and the time of the year when we all dream of what our teams can achieve in the coming season. Don't worry though, those hopes and dreams will invariably come crashing down around your ears after your side gets stuffed in your first two games, your start striker is sold and your manager quits to become a priest.

So what have we to expect from the forthcoming season? Well not the biggest crop of foreign stars like we have witnessed in years gone by. There was a time in the not to distant past where the brightest stars from around the world came to ebb away their twilight years and bang in the goals (and not to mention Lols)

However, this season, the premier league has decided to do away with the conventional transfer system and instead introduce a merlin sticker album swapshop to decide who gets who. This pre-season has seen a large number of teams go "inter-departmental" and raid the premier league bargain bin like a bad dad on Christmas eve. The 104 year old Brad Freidel has nipped over to white hart lane, whilst Jonathan Woodgate has left the London town for the potteries, carrying his knees over his shoulder in a sports bag.

Sunderland have clearly embraced the theory of "Howay the chequebook" and have gone player mad, making 8 signings to date. The black cats have made some very shrude signings in the shape of experienced pro's and exciting young talent and in my opinion could be a contender to push for a european place this season (mark my words, you heard it here first!)

Manchester United have quietly gone about their business of spunking over 50 million squids to strengthen their credentials, whilst fans of Chelsea and Arsenal must be worried by their sides lack of transfer activity (especially for the latter if they lose Fabregas and Nasri too)

The two teams possibly expected to spend the big bucks, Manchester City and QPR have also been relatively quiet. The worry of course here being their benevelant benefactors have got bored of football and decided to start a new sport on the moon, just because they can.

One thing however we can rely on of course is a new season of bat-shit mental kits, the best (or worst) of which you can devour with your eyes below.

So welcome back old friends, it's gonna be another fun one.

Brighton's Lime cough sweet strip

Villa's Checker board disaster

And my beloved Gillingham. How could you !