Monday, 15 August 2011

You wanna bet on it..... You Bet !

Unless you are one of the savvy few that have recently taken advantage of 100% discounts on major brand electronics in the consumer worlds unusual riot promotion, the majority of us are sharing in a common problem.....The Recession ! we are all potless. brasick. skint eastwood.
What is the answer. The prudent financialishta's out there will tell you that it's to work hard, save more and invest in blue chip corporations. But i ask you, where is the fun in that?
I have an alternative solution. Keep this on the down-low, but there are people out there that are prepared to take a small amount of money from you, and then give you back more money on the proviso that you can guess whats going to happen in the football. i believe that the kids call it "betting"
I jest of course, we all know what betting is, you clever chaps. So lets run through the wager's that are going to buy you a jet pack and gold plated house this season.

Premier league top goalscorer: Luis Suarez - 9/1
A man that looked electrifying at the tale end of last season in a beleaguered Liverpool side. A genuine goal threat and a player that has a track record, all be it in the dutch league of scoring a bucket load of goals. Has even started the new season in the same vein with a goal (and admittedly a missed penalty) against Sunderland on the opening weekend. Manchester United's pocket poacher Javier Hernadez is also available at 9/1

Relegated from Premier league: Blackburn - 2/1
I feel for Blackburn fans, i really do. I imagine supporting Blackburn not to be a choice, more of a terrible affliction (i thinks its a hangover from the Allerdyce days)
That aside Blackburn have now been lumped with the equally un-inspiring Steve Kean. With little investment made in an ageing squad (aside from the relatively unproven David Goodwillie) don't be surprised to see Rovers get dragged into a relegation dog fight that they don't have the stomach for. as a tasty little accompaniment to this bet, can i interest you in Steve Keen to be the first manager in the PL to lose his job. Yours at a mere 13/8

Championship winners: Leicester - 5/1
A very decent price for a side that have shelled out more that Shelly MccShellyson, manager of schelling at scehllo's peanut company. Quality premier league talent in the shape of Nugent, Konchesky, Vassell and Pantsil to add to the nucleus of an already decent squad, all under the stewardship of Papa Ericsson. Lovely stuff. Also worth a punt for promotion are newcomers Brighton @ 4/1. If Will Buckley and Craig Mackail Smith fire on all cylinders, they could be irresistible.

Championship Top Scorer: Kevin Phillips: - 14/1
Age ain't nothin but a number. Not just something said by perverted old granny's out to get some young greased up cock, but something that might be echoed by former European golden boot winner Kevin Phillips.
Yes, he maybe older than time itself, but his pedigree is proven in no uncertain terms. Two goals on his Blackpool debut will only add to this man's brimming confidence. Phillips and Holloway could be a matched made in Heaven.

League one winners: Charlton - 6/1
Chris Powell looks like he might have the addicks playing the way he wants and if they can keep hold of the more talented of the Wright-Phillips brothers, they should have a decent chance of the title.

League Two winners: Crawley Town - 11/4
Right fact fan, here's one for you. Crawley Town spent more money on players last season than all of the league two teams...... PUT TOGETHER! Money like that really does talk. Matthew Tubbs looks like he could make the step up from non league comfortably and could also be a good bet for top scorer @ 13/2

FA Cup winners: Liverpool - 10/1
Liverpool have gone a bit bonkers in the transfer window and have added some strength in depth to some talented individual players. If they can utilise the whole squad, that could allow them to fight on multiple fronts this season.

So, let's look at that betting slip.

Premier league top goalscorer: Luis Suarez / Javier Hernadez- 9/1
Relegated from Premier league: Blackburn - 2/1
First Sacking: Steve Kean: 13/8
Leicester to win the championship - 5/1
Brighton to be promoted: 4/1
Championship top scorer: Kevin Phillips - 14/1
League one winners: Charlton - 6/1
League two winner: Crawley Town - 11/4
League two top scorer: Matthew Tubs -13/2
FA cup winners: Liverpool - 10/1

So take your pick from the above, who knows it could make you a rich bitch. Or alternatively a £1 accumulator on all ten bets would return a not too shabby £76 Million pounds! Don't worry though, I'll only take a 10% "administration" fee. 


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